kelly j. hess

A friend of ours recently spent 9 months in The Gambia, and last night we were able to hear him speak more in depth about the time he spent there. We heard about the food they ate, the work that was done and overall how these Muslim people live day to day.
Our friend shared with us that the children in the village loved to be played with. It didn't matter if it was playing soccer, playing tag or just giving them hugs, the children adored the attention of the Americans who were living with them. It didn't take long to understand why. In the Gambia, the adults and parents do not play with their children or love on them. The children help with daily chores and can play among themselves, but it is unheard of for a parent or adult to play with a child. In fact, most of the children our friend would spend time with were beat just for playing with him. But they kept coming back.
The family our friend stayed with had a father who didn't agree with how things in their village were done. At the end of the day when he came in from working in the fields, he would play and laugh with his children, and scoop them up and embrace them. He understood the need children have to be shown love, even when the village lived very differently. Although most of us realize that children need adults in their lives to show them this kind of love, this is how life is for the people of the Gambia. It is how things have always been done, and rarely would someone question it.
As Joel and I become parents, we desire to be parents who are able to look beyond the standard society sets for us. We desire to see the Lord work in the hearts of our children and set them free in the passions and the individual callings the Lord has placed on each of their lives. Although there is no way we can prepare for what this will look like, we can trust that the Lord will reveal it to us along the way if we keep our hearts and minds open to His leading. We want our decisions in parenting this child to be based not on how books and other parents tell us it should be done, but truly seeking the Lord's guidance. It's such an exciting thing to know that this little boy inside of me has been created for the Lords purpose, and not our own. And although we will have the privelage to share in it all with him, we need to understand that as parents we are being used by the Lord to raise him to better understand his unique gifts, dreams and his callings in this world.