Monday, January 16, 2012

"Our Lives..."

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter."-MLK

I'm loving all the Martin Luther King Jr. quotes being posted on facebook today. So challenging. I stumbled upon this one and couldn't help but feel challenged by it myself.

I so quickly get caught up in the things of this world that just don't matter. I've shared it a hundred times before. The cleanliness and orderly appearance of my home. I like new clothes. What color to paint my dining room. Dreaming of my, someday, new kitchen. How I want to lose weight. Elijah needs a haircut. I wish we had more money. I hate my car. If only we could go on a nice long vacation. Blah. Blah. Blah.

It's easier to step back from all those things and say they don't matter, than trying to fight past those thoughts when they are in my head. I think of what Christ meant when he said to "take every thought captive." It's being aware that these thoughts are not from Him, and stopping myself!

And even more than stopping myself from thinking them, which is hard to do at times, is stopping myself from acting on them. Is painting my kitchen wrong? Nope. Is wanting to go on vacation wrong? Nope. It's the attitude of my heart.

I can spend days thinking of meaningless, non life giving things, and when I realize I have been in a funk, I get sad thinking about how many days were wasted not pouring into my kids, praying for others, reaching out and blessing others...I could go on and on.

So when I read this quote from MLK, I was feeling challenged that I don't really live this way. I desire to so badly, but I spend more days wasting my time than anything.

The first thing that came into my head when I read that quote was abortion and sex trafficking, both of which Joel and I have a burden on our hearts for (that could be an entirely separate post). But besides donate money to those organizations, or just say we oppose it, one of the ways we we feel called to make a difference is to someday adopt those who have been orphaned, abandoned or those whose birth mothers wanted to give them the gift of life!

So where this ties together is when I begin to think about our future, and when to begin adoption/foster care, I start to doubt. When my mind is focused on the things that just don't matter, I start to think we should wait a few years. I think that I have all these projects and ideas and things I want to do with my time, so let's wait until all that is done and then lets move forward.

Really? It sounds so selfish! Now, we know we need time to settle into life with 3 kids before we add another one or two, but I so easily get caught up in how my emotions and feelings play a role in this, when really, I want to be obedient to the Lord and when He wants us to move forward.

I often feel that by trusting the Lord with things, like adoption, that I'll be giving up a lot of my own desires. Which, while it is in some ways true, I will also be gaining things I didn't know I needed or desired. I hold myself back all too often.

We are called to be more like Christ. To have a heart like His and to desire and grow in closeness to Him. But it's easy as believers to not step outside of that. We so easily forget that the purpose of it all is "thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven."

It's not about the someday, but about today. Are we willing to fight for what really matters in this world? Am I willing to lay down my desires for His desires? It's like that cute little kid song "This Little Light of Mine." "...hide it under a bushel? No! I'm gonna let it shine..."

So while we pray through this next phase in life, and enjoy the one we are in now, I so badly need to stick a post it with this MLK quote on it onto my fridge.

Jesus loves the orphaned, the widowed and abandoned. He fights for them. They matter to Him and they should matter to me. I want to take my thoughts captive and fight for what I have been shown. That these children in foster care, in orphanages...their lives have purpose and meaning and they are worth fighting for. Even if it's fighting over my own silly thoughts. They are worth it to God, so they are worth it to me.

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