Family, Photography, Summer!

Almost daily I sit down at my computer and stare at a blank post to write, but nothing seems to come to my mind to write about. Writers block? Maybe...but I think it's mostly because life is changing at the Hess house, and it's hard to write about anything "real" that's been going on in our life without mentioning it, so here it goes!

We are expecting baby #3 in September! We are so excited, and I'm glad I can finally start to journal a bit on here about it. I'm only 7 weeks along, but just read our baby is the size of a blueberry! What a miracle LIFE is.

Pregnancy is not easy for me. I hate the morning sickness that comes along with it. For me it lasts all day/night...for almost the full 40 weeks. So far each pregnancy has been better than the last, but I still find myself really struggling to come up with the energy to be a mom when all I feel like doing is lying down. I'm not good at fighting through the nausea to make dinner and care for my family. So...if you think of praying for me, it's appreciated. I want to be triumphant this time around. I don't want the nausea to discourage me to the point of feeling depressed and only wanting to lie on the couch.

I look into the faces of each of my children and can tell them that they, of course, were 100% worth all the nausea that I struggled with during the 9 months that they were in my womb, and looking back it seems silly that I felt so discouraged and awful...but it's hard to stay focused on that in the daily struggles of trying to keep my food down while I still have 33 weeks to go.

So with the new addition to our family, I have decided that I'm going to let go of photography. I have had a wonderful break from it this winter, enjoying spending all my time with my family and not having "work" in the back of my mind. I'm not great at communicating with clients, meeting deadlines, etc. I just love doing it as a hobby. I'm going to continue to photograph weddings as a second photographer, but am probably not going to take on much of my own work. It feels a bit foolish to me, since we just bought a new computer and had decided to move forward in this, but I know it's the right decision for our family.

With not having to work during my kids naps and after they are in bed, I feel more refreshed as a wife and mom. I have been able to take time for myself, and that has made a huge difference in my attitude towards my children. I want to succeed in what I do, not just "get by." It's not that since I can't be growing a huge photography business that I'm not succeeding, it's just that I feel like I'm not able to focus on my children and my husband like I would like to. I admire my friends who can do both! I have just learned over the past year... that I'm not one of them! ha! I'm a much less stressed out person when I have a simple schedule.

I guess those are two big things going on with me right now! I'm excited about both, and am very excited for what this year holds. I'm excited that my youngest two will be 2 years apart! 16 months was really close with Elijah and Ella, and I look forward to her being a bit older when the new baby comes. I love that Elijah can look at pictures and try to understand that a baby is growing inside. I'm also looking forward to another summer with Elijah and Ella before we have a newborn tagging along. They will both be old enough to take to the pool and do small day trips without as much worry about nap schedules, feedings, etc.

I always thought I loved the newborn stage, but as my kids get older I am LOVING the ages of being able to talk and communicate! Learning is so much fun, and watching them enjoy life is the best. I love hanging out with them, they are two of my best buddies! Winter is long, and I can't wait until we can get outside and explore together again...I think we all get tense/bored inside all day.

Alright, well this post is getting long and off topic. I think I'm going to go nap....

ps. If we are friends on facebook, please don't post anything about the baby...I'm keeping it a bit quiet on fb for a while...thanks!